Consumerism

I recently got my tax refund back from the government. Given that I am poor this was a relativley large amount (thank you Earned Income Credit - your tax dollars in my pocket...) and I went suitably nuts spending it. I did set a little aside, but the lion share went toward undeniably frivolous things.

I bought many DVD's and CD's (many of them used, so a little frugality reared its ugly head...) a couple of graphic novels (reprints of Sin City comics) Many Role-Playing books (some of which I may never use but I enjoy reading them) and some dice...

This last flabergasted my friends - granted they are dice made of steel and they cost me $40 American - but they can, and will, be used. The thing that struck me as odd was that the coolness of them, as objects, escaped my friends. One of my friends - well call him 'Kieth'- collects ceramic statues of comic book characters, keen to look at, but otherwise just dust collectors. The other friend in question - lets call him 'Richard' - buys virtually every video game that comes on the market, he bought a PS2 just to play a game that wasn't offered on the X*Box, then he only plays them through once and dumps them. Usually on me and I'm glad to have them!

The point is... wait, whats my point?

Oh, yeah! all this money my friends are spending on frivolous cool things which I may or may not like on an individual basis but their first and only reaction to my pointless dice purchase was that I was a 'consumer' and had, I guess, not gotten my moneys worth (even though I will use these dice). This was said, it seemed to me, as an accusation (or at least a revelation of the dark inner workings of my psyche) and not as a preexisting condition that we each share. We live in a consumer culture. "Whoever dies with the most toys, wins!" This is just the way of things...

The above may sound like I resent my friends for thier opinion of my dice. This is not the case, I do wish that they had enjoyed the coolness of having steel dice as much as I but they didn't. My view of the situation is more one of astonishment that they didn't just acknowledge that I had a keen new toy and express their wish that I enjoy it; but instead we spent five minutes discussing the other types of dice available and that they weren't worth the price either.

OK, maybe I'm a little upset. I didn't think I was at the time, and even while I was writing this I could say it didn't bother me. But, I do seem to have a great deal to say about it, and that emotional investment had to come from somewhere...


Damn it! I hate self-awareness.